12 more days....

WOW, I haven't been very good at keeping up with this blog. I've been horribly busy, playing single mom, working, just trying to keep up with everything. It's a lot sometimes. Thankfully I'm not a stranger to playing single mom as I was one for half of my son's life. I manage, but I miss my husband horribly. We wait every week for the next letter to come, wondering when we might get to talk to him again. His graduation is set for Nov 12th. So close! So far he is on schedule. As long as the other guys in his division get their crap together there should be no problems. He's slightly frustrated with the younger guys in his div cause they can't seem to pull there heads out and work together as a team or keep their mouths shut. 

He told me that his commanding officers have nicknamed him and it's stuck. They call him Papa Smurf! To funny! He has two leadership roles there and has high probability of graduating as an E2. This is his goal and it looks like he will achieve it. I'm so proud of him. I just wish I could give him a big hug. : )

So other than pluggin away at life, There is not much else to report. I look forward to his graduation so I can communicate with him a bit more. And hopefully he will get to come home for the holidays, this is a huge hope! I'm anxious to move to the next step and discover what is next for us!

Hope everyone has a Happy Halloween!

WOO HOO!!! Finally!!

Today the phone finally rang!! And it was D on the other end! We actually got to have a full 10 min conversation today. He also got to talk to A. It was so wonderful to hear his voice. I've missed it so much. He sounded happy and was even joking around with me. So far so good for graduating with his Div. I told him that I wanted to go to his grad so bad but he told me not to worry. He would rather me save that money so we can fly him home for Christmas instead!! WOO HOO!! Great News! He said his school shuts down for two weeks during that time so He will be able to come home for leave during the holidays! This is great news  cause not only is it Christmas time but it's A's Bday as well as mine! I will keep my fingers crossed that all works out in our favor. I know how these things can go!

So yesterday I got up and made some phone calls regarding my ID. I called the Naval Reserve Center first and they argued with me that he HAD to be with me. So I hung up with them and called the AFB. They knew exactly what I was talking about and we headed out to the base. It took about an hour, and with A along that was no easy feat, but she did okay for the most part. The guy who issued my ID was totally cool. He happened to be from the same town we are from in WA state. He gave me lots of info and told me to go down to tri-care to make sure we were in their system and also told me to go to the dental website to sign up vs filling out the enrollment paper. He was very helpful.

After we finished up at the office we went off to explore the BX. Not that I haven't been in one many times before, but it's been a few years. A thought it was fantastic, like a Mall! LOL we also headed over to the commissary so I can compare prices, see what kind of selection they had and check out their produce. We live about a 30 min drive from the base, so it has to be worth it for me to venture out there. I saw some great deals that told me it would be worth at least a monthly trip there, but I can do just as well with our local farmer's market when it comes to produce, etc. But I still walked out of there with 30 items and only paid $31, so that was a pretty good score in my book. Tomorrow we are headed back out there to check into the Tri-care situation.

I also talked to the recruiter again yesterday and he confirmed that yes he sent the proper paperwork to them again. D also confirmed this when I talked to him today, which was a relief to me cause I stress bout things until I know they are done! He also told me not to worry bout getting paid on the 15th it will be there. I'm such a worry wart. I just want everything to go smoothly!

So today was a great day, I sweated my butt off during a kickbutt workout, Got to talk to my mom, and a great friend, visited with another friend, went swimming, (who gets to do that in Oct? outside for that matter!) and got to talk to my hubby, and tell him how much we love him and miss him! that is truly the best! :-)

Here's a pic of our beautiful sunset here in Tucson tonight! It was a beautiful day!

Life, Breaks and Letters....

It's been awhile since I've updated. I'm finding it difficult to keep up with my frequent websites these days. Unless I can manage it on my phone, I just haven't been logging in. My daughter and I are on a fall break right now, which means a week off. I'm taking full advantage of this time to relax, take care of some important things, and do a little clean out of the apt. I know we will have to move eventually and even though it's gonna be a while I know I need to start slowly weeding through things now, some serious minimizing.

I haven't received another call from D yet. I keep waiting. I assume it will come on a Sunday morning, maybe in the early morning, Idk, but I also know that no news is good news, I just miss his voice. We received a letter from D on Friday. My dad in CA and My mom is WA also received one. Looks like he is doing really well. He's in Charge of Laundry, so he's in a leadership roll and his commanders really like him, if he keeps it up, he will definitely graduate with promotion. He passed his swim qualification and claims to have passed this IFA based on his age group, yet they are saying he failed. The chief and Petty Officer are looking into it cause he was scored based on a 18 yr old not a 34 yr old. I hope it all works out for him.

He claims that I need to stay on his recruiter bout the paperwork that he called me about a few weeks ago. I'm a little confused cause I'm not sure if that means it wasn't taken care of or it was and because of the delay with mail, he just doesn't know that. I left a message at the office and plan to stop in tomorrow to check on it to make sure it was taken care of. I also have back up paperwork coming to me just in case it's needed. I stress bout stuff like this, drives me crazy. Especially when I can't confirm what is needed. The 15th is Friday, and I'm nervous as hell that our first paycheck won't show up. I'm not sure what I will do if that happens. I will be seriously screwed, cause other than a small amount of money, we have exhausted our funds. At least everything is paid up til the end of the month but still...I will keep my fingers crossed and hope that all the pieces will just fall into place. Breathe...

So tomorrow I am headed to the local base to get my ID card, I'm a little nervous bout this as it's slightly new to me. I can go to the Naval Reserve Center or the AFB, I'm not sure what the best option is and can't find any info out online bout hours or anything. I hate going into something blind!! I will just be glad when it's over and than I know what to do from there. After I get my card, A and I are going to go explore the Exchange and the Commissary. We live about 30 mins away so it will be worth exploring while we are there.

So that's bout where we are at this point. A and I just keep plugging away at life. Hoping to hear more and more about what is going on. : )

Loving a Sailor

 A friend of mine posted this on my FB page, her husband used to be in the Navy and she said she had received this once while he was on deployment and it helped get her through some sad moments, I thought it was wonderful and wanted to share! : )

LOVING A SAILOR

Loving a sailor is not always gay.
Loving him truly is a high price to pay.
It's being alone with nothing to hold.
...It's being young, but feeling so old.
It's having him whisper his love for you.
It's whispering back that you love him too.
There comes a kiss and a promise for more
As his ship slowly glides away from the shore.
Reluctantly, painfully, letting him go
While you're dying inside from wanting him so.
Watching him leave with eyes full of tears,
Standing alone with your hopes, dreams and fears.
It's sending a letter with the stamp upside down
To a far away love in a far away town.
It's going to church to kneel and pray
And really meaning the things that you say.
Being in love will foster your dreams
Of that far away sailor your mind fairly beams.
Days go by...no mail for a spell;
You wait for some word to hear that he is well.
Then a letter arrives, and you're given in
To open his letter and read it with a grin.
Yes, he is well and misses you so
And filled with the love you wanted to know.
Weeks are like months, and months are like years,
You wait for the day when you'll have no more tears.
Days go by slowly...how many have passed
Then suddenly you realize it's here at last!
Yes. LOVING A SAILOR brings bitterness and fears,
Loneliness, sadness, and despondent years.
LOVING A SAILOR isn't much fun,
But it's worth the price when the battle is done.
And remember he's thinking of you every day -
He's sad and he's lonely while so far away.
So love him and miss him and hold your head high.
Be strong and have faith... wipe that tear from your eye.
Your man's a seafarer...like that old ancient trader.
It's a high price you pay for LOVING A SAILOR.

(Author Unknown)

Tears finally shed....

I always give my husband a hard time bout being unemotional, never really showing what he's feeling, unless you count his moods, cause he is a classic Cancer...very moody at times...but that is how he is, and sometimes it's hard to tell how something effects him cause he just keeps it all inside. Does it drive me nuts? OH YES more than you can believe! LOL I always thought of myself as completely emotional, I mean I can cry at the drop of a dime while watching movies, tv or even commercials. But I guess in reality, I'm Emphatically emotional, my empathy for others is so strong that I become emotional when they are feeling emotional. However, with myself I'm finding that I tend to push my crap down pretty far and because of that, I tend to not release it, at least not the way it's supposed to.

When D left for Boot camp, my neighbor and closest friend here was bawling her eyes out. Like her man was leaving for 9 weeks. Yet I never shed a tear, at first I thought it was odd, but everyone is different. When she moved back to her home state a few days later, she was bawling her eyes out again while saying good bye to me, and while I teared up a bit it's was not anything near dramatic, I mean the tears didnt' even roll down my face. I get frustrated with this sometimes, cause I can feel it dwelling inside, I need to let it out, I want to let it but it just doesnt' flow. Until Yesterday....

I finally broke yesterday morning. I sat on my couch sobbing, snotty nose and all. I was incredibly lonely, I wanted my husband so bad. I wanted his arms around me, to hear he loves me, to not be alone. All weekend long I just wanted adult interaction, socialization, maybe even a beer or two. But I didnt' have anyone available that could provide that for me. One of the downfalls for living so far away from Friends and Home. Something that I should be used to at this point, however, D is usually around and my Kasey, who has been my buddy for the past year is now gone too. It was a tough weekend, yet when I look back it wasn't that bad, But A was a poop all day Sat. I no longer had any patience with her constant nagging me. I'm talking the kind of nagging that involves her walking into my room with her swimsuit on at 730 am ready to go to the pool! Sigh...

We are just at the beginning of this and I know we will get through it and there are going to be ups and downs, but I just want to hear from him again. I guess I am feeling slightly insecure right now, I miss him and want to hear that he is missing me too. I better get used to this kind of living, cause it's going to become a constant in our life.

Adjustments, Phone calls, Love...

Life sure has been a ride these last few weeks, okay maybe the last few months....Hell the last few years! HA! So much has changed in the last 2 years it's insane. Moving out of our comfort zone of "home", starting a new life in a new state, my son leaving and going back home to his dad's, me losing almost 60 lbs and learning how to live a healthy lifestyle, A starting school, D leaving his profession of 12 years and joining the Navy...and the changes are not going to stop anytime soon. It's been a tough 2 years, there have been tears, doubt, depression, pride, mistakes, strength, but we have all made it through. And I honestly see so many positives in front of us. If we can make it through all we have lately we can  continue to do so as we trek along. I know we can!!

D called yesterday morning, it was a total surprised. The connection was horrible and he had to hang up and call again. He needed me to go to his recruiter and have some paperwork faxed to RTC. Paperwork they already had in his file but hey that is how the military is right? LOL We did get to exchange a few how are yous and I love yous and miss yous. That put a smile on my face. He sounded good, maybe tired. I know he's tired! This week was his first official training week. We had received our first letter from him this week too, it was more of a information form letter with his address, graduation info, etc, but at the end he was able to fill in a few lines of personal comments. It was nice to just hear something.

D and I have tons of history, a History that goes back almost 15 years, but we have been back together for almost 8 years now. The last 2 have been the hardest for us. We've made it through and I feel that we are getting stronger and stronger all the time. Being separated lately has really made me evaluate my feelings towards my husband. We often take for granted what we have when it's in our face all the time. Moods, stress, conflict overwhelm us and it can make for a rough time sometimes. In the short period of time that he's been gone already, I feel like I've fallen in love with him all over again. It may sound silly, but my heart just fills when I think of him. I am so proud of him, and it puts such a smile on my face when I do finally get to hear from him. I truly miss his smile and his hugs. I look forward to seeing him again, to hearing his voice and getting his first true letter.